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by Kristen West McGuire
Perhaps you have met a “Bridezilla?” The term refers to a bride who lets wedding logistics become a frenzy of self-absorbed excess. Bridezilla isn’t preparing for a covenant; she wants the party to be about her. Family members, friends, and even the groom don’t know how to stop her. They feel betrayed. Worst of all, it makes a mockery of the meaning of a wedding.
Bridezilla is disfigured by her sins.
Dear sisters in faith, do we not know the pain of the disfigured bride? The past five decades have been catastrophic for the Catholic Church. The scandal of clerical sexual abuse has shattered our trust in God’s love. The daily parish rhythm of the Church hums along, seemingly oblivious to the crisis. Church members receive fewer and fewer sacraments, and attendance at Holy Mass is at an all-time low.
Pope Saint John Paul II reminds us in Mulieris Dignitatem that the Church is a Bride. Her members may be flawed and wounded. Yet the Church is eternally loved and redeemed by her divine Bridegroom, Christ. God has not abandoned us, just as He never abandoned Israel even when they worshipped false gods. Mary of Nazareth is the “figure” of the Church. She “precedes everyone on the path to holiness.” (MD 27)
Pope Saint John Paul II points to the prophets Hosea, Jeremiah, Ezekiel and Isaiah, each of whom speak eloquently of God as the Bridegroom and Israel the Bride. He highlights Isaiah, but let us consider the prophet Hosea. God commanded Hosea to marry a serial adulteress, Gomer. His life became a parable of Israel’s unfaithfulness. At the time, Israel had assimilated foreign cultures, worshipping false gods, “Ba’als.” It was as if they forgot Who led them out of Egypt, and fed them manna in the wilderness.
Yet Hosea’s prophecy doesn’t end in Gomer’s condemnation. Hosea shows God’s spousal love:
“Therefore, behold I will allure her, and will lead her into the wilderness, and I will speak to her heart…And I will espouse thee to me forever, and I will espouse thee to me in justice, and judgment, and in mercy” (Hos 2:14, 19). This is no divine divorce; it’s a renewal of vows.
Our sins obscure the reality of the spotless Bride. The Church remains united to Christ, who “loved the Church and gave himself up for her.” (Eph 5:25) This “great mystery” transfers the Old Testament’s spousal imagery into the New Covenant in Christ. He is the Bridegroom who redeems His Bride by entering her history fully, laying down His life for us in a “sincere gift” of Himself (Jn 15:13).
The Church’s wounds, including the abuse scandals, are like Israel’s idolatry. Instead of an angry bridegroom, we find Jesus weeping over Lazarus’ death, but then raising him from the dead. Jesus Christ has not rejected us. He calls the Church from the wilderness of scandal back to fidelity, like Hosea called Gomer to be his wife.
We live in a culture that is given over to “foreign idols.” Freedom is presented as license to “pursue your own happiness.” And yet today’s youth are plagued by anxiety and loneliness. Adult Americans are the most medicated people in history. Individually, our families include members who are estranged and in conflict.
Sin has consequences, and we think we must be unworthy if such sins affect our Christian homes. But Christ doesn’t abandon His wounded Bride; He woos her home.
The sacraments are the Bridegroom’s life-giving gifts to the Church. Each time the consecration of the Eucharist takes place in a church, Christ’s sacrifice on the cross is presented to God the Father. It is literally a renewal of the wedding covenant between the Bride and Bridegroom. Each time we receive Him, we renew our strength.
This is why the Church needs more sacramental marriages today! Christianity is both monotheistic and monogamous in marriage. The sexual union between husband and wife actually renews their wedding vows. The sacraments give us the grace to complete what is challenging and difficult in human life.
For better and for worse, we are the Church. Both men and women are called to enter into the Bridal mystery. And within the Church, we have Christ’s supreme “gift of self” in the Eucharist, His Body given and Blood poured out for our salvation. In every Mass, the darkness in our lives is redeemed by the Bridegroom’s self-emptying love. One person, one heart at a time, Jesus heals our wounds and gives us a joyful hope.
Yes, with Jesus’ help, we can redeem Bridezilla and help her build a lasting covenant that includes our past, our present and our future with the Bridegroom of all hearts.
