Hints from Heloise @ Abelard
by Kristen West McGuire
Heloise and Peter Abelard were star-crossed lovers in the 12th century in France. Abelard was a noted theologian, hired to tutor the 20-ish Heloise in her uncle’s home. They fell in love, and she ended up pregnant. Heloise gave birth to a son (Astrolabe) at the home of Abelard’s sister. They secretly marry, seeking to preserve his career as a canon-cleric. Nonetheless, her outraged family chased Abelard down and castrated him. In a desperate attempt to regain their honor, Abelard placed Heloise with the nuns at Saint Argentueil. He too joined a monastery at Saint Denis.
The monks at Saint Denis turned against Abelard ten years later and he returned to Paris to teach. His theological work was rejected by the pope and he was silenced. He arranged for Heloise and her nuns to move to the Paraclete convent under his protection. Their surviving letters date from this time. It’s hard to separate the myths from the facts. Some versions of the story say Heloise was seduced as a teen. But Heloise was famous for her erudition and scholarship, even before she met Abelard. And Étienne Gilson even points to the pair as the first Renaissance scholars, ahead of their time.
Abelard wrote an account of his struggles, calling it, “The Calamities.” Heloise received his list of humiliations, including this challenge: “I expect you will see that your trials are only slight next to mine, or even nothing at all, and then you will find them easier to bear.” Heloise’s response began with this succinct salutation, a masterful example of literary Latin. She reminded Abelard that she also was suffering. Essentially, she asked, “Who are you to me?”
Domino suo immo patri
(To her lord, no, her father)
coniugi suo immo fratri
(To her husband, no, her brother)
ancilla sua immo filia
(From his handmaid, no, his daughter)
ipsius uxor immo soror
(His wife, no, his sister)
Their five letters went back and forth, with Heloise expressing her longing and doubts, and rebuking Abelard for his insensitivity and pride. He responded with formal logic, pushing her to accept their shared fate and serve only Christ. It is a bit painful to read, especially when one considers that Heloise was forced into the cloister and had to leave her son to be raised by Abelard’s sister.
His final letter responded to her request for a rule of life that is more fitting for women religious. Heloise received it, but adapted the Rule with her own wisdom. Truly, their mutual passion was as much for philosophy and literature as for one another. Heloise sees herself as a scholastic for the Lord.
Both Heloise and Abelard were befriended by Peter the Venerable of Cluny, who arranged for Abelard to reconcile with his enemies and die at a Cluniac house in 1142. Peter arranged for Abelard to be buried at the Paraclete in 1144, and honored Heloise as the most capable of abbesses in France. When she died in 1163, she was buried with her beloved Abelard.
During the Renaissance, salacious forgeries based on their letters circulated in the salons of philosophers. Their love story became a bumper sticker in the 1960s, “Abelard never really loved Heloise!” Oh, but he did. Let the record show they loved one another in Christ, sacrificially.
There are no shortages of intellectuals telling the story of Heloise and Abelard today…but not all of them think becoming a nun or a monk is an impressive outcome. Consider reading Etienne Gilson’s book on Heloise and Abelard. (Affiliate link)
